I Like Boys Who Like Their Mothers

Is it important for a man to like his mother?

Not counting those unfortunate folks who grew up never knowing their mothers, does it effect a relationship when one of you has zero relationship with his or her mother, or absolutely hates her?

I never thought much about it. Then I met a man who really respected his mother. He wasn’t a mama’s boy, nor was he still clinging to the nipple. He did, however, come from a loving, wholesome family.

In complete contrast, I’ve dated a man who absolutely loathed his mother. She was an emotionally abusive alcoholic who was found dead in her living room several days after she’d passed. He was emotional when he spoke of it, but mostly he seemed emotionally damaged by his whole upbringing.

The boy from the wholesome family treated me well. The boy from the broken family with the abusive mother treated me well, romanced me, but turned out to be emotionally abusive toward me.

Neither of these polar opposite scenarios answers my question.

What role does family play when shaping our personal thoughts on romantic relationships?

If the person you’re dating doesn’t respect family or mothers, what does that indicate about how he’s going to treat you? Does it mean anything? Is this a just another matter of my overactive brain overthinking a minute topic at midnight?

We all know the fabled ages-old tale of women with daddy issues (hey, you’re reading the blog of one right now), but forget that for right now. If you’re dating a girl–whether you’re a man or a lady who likes ladies–what does it mean if she doesn’t like her mother?

Does one’s relationships with one’s parents have anything to do with how he or she acts in a relationship?



3 thoughts on “I Like Boys Who Like Their Mothers

  1. Try as I have to give honest benefit of the doubt – the one thing I’ve learned is that the apple never falls far from the tree. . .
    In relationships – what you experience as a child becomes a key part of the recipe for how you connect intimately with others at later stages in life.
    With divorce, the endless flavors of physical and mental abuse, career-centric, neglectful parents – it’s too bad we don’t have the psychological wherewithall to say ‘I’m going to do everything differently than they did.’
    The sad truth is – like begets like, and there’s not a counselor out there who can completely break the cycle.

    • I actually think you can break the cycle if you are aware of it. There’s no reason that you have to give-in to the fact that if you have emotionally damaging parents you’re going to be that way as well. It takes will-power to recognize the similarities you have, and every action you make is a choice.

  2. You can break the chain if you have crazy or abusive parents. I think the important thing is to be aware of the faults of your parents and how to not carry those same faults into other relationships. I also think that it’s pretty subjective if you come from a “balanced” family how you treat others. The question isn’t if the guy has a great relationship with his mother, what matters is how he treats you (with love and respect, hopefully). If a guy has a “bad” relationship, you don’t want to be the girl who he has to work through his mommy issue with…recognize it early on and move on!

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