Stressing Out at 3:00am

3:00am. Can’t sleep….  Because I fell asleep at 5pm. Good enough excuse, but I’ll hate myself in the morning when I have to get up to go to work.

It’s always these times that I can’t make my mind shut the hell up. Thing abuzz …. Money, work, travel, freelancing, writing, Nathan. I should be excited about these things, but they’re just stressing me out. I’m feeling sleepy finally, now if I could just turn off my brain I could drift off. God, I’m even worried about the fact that I don’t have anything for breakfast tomorrow. Wait, I have fruit. And some soysauge. And oatmeal. Okay, that will do.

Woke up at 1:30am. I’m kind of starving because the only thing I had tonight (or last night) were leftover Chinese noodles, and that was at 4:00.

The weekend camping was amazing. Night swimming and a game of Chicken on the first evening, photosynthesizing and walking in the woods followed by and hour and a half of stargazing the next day. Yoga in the morning yesterday and a lovely drive back to the city. Ugh, the city. It felt about ten degrees hotter the second we crossed over into the Bronx. But the camping was incredible. The air was so fresh, I walked around in flip flops or no flops the whole weekend, ate my weight in marshmallows and potato chips, got my Rummy on with friends, and just chilled.

Now I’m lying in bed stressing? This is not the way the weekend was supposed to end. Well, technically it’s Monday morning. I rolled over and my clock said “Aug 1” and that triggered everything. It’s already August! Where did this summer go? Into my production schedules at work, probably.

I just thought of one more thing to stress out about: where are the boxes I sent myself from Alaska on my last day there? I sent two medium-sized boxes containing my sister’s and my baby pictures and all of my old journals from high school. If those pictures have gotten lost in the mail, I will never forgive myself. God, I’m not going to fall asleep tonight.


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