Yeast-free… Excuse me?

Forget it.

I had another round with the allergy tests today, this time getting stuck with 3

5 needles testing different types of allergens at different levels. The tests showed that I’m allergic to a lot of things–mostly cats, but also trees, grass, weeds, pretty much anything with pollen, and sensitive to two types of molds.

With the molds, the doc is making me do a two-month yeast-free diet. I never even considered this before. I feel like I did back when I was a carnivore and someone mentioned veganism to me for the first time:

What? Are you insane?

The yeast-free diet is supposed to decrease my sensitivity to molds and hopefully eliminate it.

The worst part of this whole thing is not only that I can’t have bread, but I can’t have wine! WINE! Two months without wine???

“You can still have all distilled liquors,” the doc said. Oh, gee, great. Not comforting!

I’ve been mostly off the sauce for over two weeks now, and doing really well. And completely avoiding hard liquor. I suppose this is just another great step in my journey toward a mostly sober life. So really, it’s not a bad thing. It just sucks. A lot.

And now, a detailed list of what I can’t eat for the next two months:
(from The Yeast Diet)

Foods to avoid on a yeast free diet

Yeasty Foods:

  • Breads, rolls, cookies, pastries, pretzels and other bready foods
  • Vinegar, and foods which contain it, like mayonnaise, salad dressing, barbecue sauce, mustard, pickles and pickled foods.
  • Wine, beer and spirits
  • Fermented foods and beverages like sauerkraut or cider

Moldy Foods:

  • All cheese
  • Dried, smoked or pickled meats
  • Cured bacon
  • Mushrooms, peanuts, and pistachios
  • Soy sauce, miso, tamari, and tempeh
  • Malt
  • Pre-packaged herbs and teas
  • Canned tomatoes

Sugary foods:

  • Processed sugar (granulated, confectioner’s, brown)
  • Grapes, raisins, dates, prunes and figs; citrus fruits
  • Fruit juices and dried fruits
  • Soft drinks and drink mixes
  • Honey and maple syrup
  • High-fructose corn syrup
  • Chocolate

Starchy foods: limit consumption to 3 or 4 times per week

  • Corn
  • Potatoes

Can Eat:

  • Vegetables, vegetables, and more vegetables, especially dark green leafy ones
  • Beans, of any variety
  • Meat protein, including beef, poultry, fish and shellfish, and fresh (uncured) pork
  • Eggs
  • Whole grains, including rice, barley, millet, couscous, and buckwheat
  • Whole grain oatmeal and pasta; corn, rice or spelt pasta
  • Unprocessed seeds and nuts
  • Vegetable oils which are unrefined (the kind that must be refrigerated)

So basically everything that I eat now, but without the bread and the wine and myriad other tasty delights — COOKIES! CHOCOLATES! Good thing I got my brownie fix over the weekend. What really sucks is that I love my juices, they keep me from wanting alcohol. I mix 1/4 fizzy organic juice from Whole Foods with 3/4 club soda. It’s really satisfying and not too high in sugar that way. But say goodbye for two months! FML.

Tonight: Yeast binge!

This “diet” starts tomorrow…

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