So Many Things

Too many things on my mind right now. All I really want to be doing is writing. Working on my novel, that is.

My computer is gone at work, so I’m on my personal laptop–the old Mac I use for video editing that I keep in my office–and I can’t do any work because I don’t have any of my Adobe programs or access to our web servers or the other two email addresses that I monitor to receive requests for intranet and internet edits and user assistance. Basically, I’m up shit creek without my desktop. The thing just crashed yesterday, at last. The IT guy tried to fix it, but it turns out that not only was the network card dead, but, as he put it “the hard drive is on its way to its final resting place.” Yikes. Glad I didn’t lose all my work. And my graphs! My precious, precious Excel graphs!

Anyway, I’m waiting here, constantly checking my email and hoping that someone will send me a request to do something. It’s either that or keep waiting another forty minutes for my first meeting of the day (there are three today).  So I guess it’s whatever comes first. *Harumph*

In other news, I’ve been assigned two more freelance proofreading projects in the last two days, both third books in two series that I really like. One about the zombie apocalypse and the other about this half-human half-fairy girl, which sounds hokey but is actually a rather addictive series, even for me, who isn’t partiularly interested in the fantasy genre, especially fairies.

There has been so much freelancing in my life that I haven’t had the energy to train for this half marathon coming up. That’s stressing me out, and I’m so far behind that I’m 99% sure that I’m not going to run it. I’ve learned that when I’m training for a long race, running completely loses its luster. It becomes a task, a schedule, something I have to do and not something I want to do. It’s just not fun the way it used to be. And what’s the point of doing something if it’s not fun? (Or at least making you money.) I used to be able to run three miles and feel completely satisfied. Now I run five and I kick myself because I was supposed to run eight. It’s never good enough. Never fast enough. Never enough distance. It’s not fun anymore. I’m thinking of taking this year off from the New York racing scene, and mostly because I need to be able to just run and feel good about it and let it be a meditative rather than a competitive thing. That means I won’t be doing the marathon until 2012, which is perfectly fine with me. I will defer this year to next, and then next winter start my nine-plus-one races with NYRR again. There are so many things in my life that are stressing me out, I don’t need my recreation to be another one.

So, that’s that for today.

Tonight: Vegan cream of potato soup.


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